10 Simple Ways to Not Get Arrested For Assault

This post sponsored by Acme Traffic Cone Supply

1) Don’t drunkenly walk into a cordoned-off construction site at 4th and Denny Way at nine in the morning.

2) Don’t ignore a construction worker when he tells you to leave.

3) Don’t pick up a traffic cone.

4) Don’t wear the traffic cone like a hat.

5) Don’t continue not leaving the construction site.

6) Do listen to a police officer when he comes over and asks you to leave the construction site.

7) Don’t fall down as the officer’s trying to escort you out of the construction site.

8) Definitely don’t punch a police officer in the face when he tries to help you up.

9) Don’t run away when that officer calls for back-up.

10) Don’t do any of those things, and you won’t be arrested and booked into the King County Jail for felony assault.

(The officer was not seriously injured in this incident)