Police Investigating Passive-Aggressive Parking Vigilante

Seattle police are on the trail of a passive-aggressive parking vigilante, who’s been graffitiing all over the street and leaving nasty notes for neighbors in North Seattle.

Earlier this year, some neighborhood parking vigilante took it upon themselves to paint (unofficial) parking lines along most of a one-block stretch of Whitman Avenue N near 41st Street.

Last week, the woman left her car parked outside those unofficial lines for several days while she was home sick, and later returned to her vehicle to find this passive-aggressive note:

“Please do everyone a favor on this block, either learn how to park your car like a normal human being or put a bullet in your face you worthless piece of [expletive]. Go [expletive] yourself and have a bad day. Sincerely, Everyone.”

The victim provided police with the note and told officers she believed it had been written by a man in the neighborhood who has previously griped about the parking situation on the block. She also said this wasn’t the first time someone had left a note on her car.

If you’ve got parking problems in your neighborhood and are looking for a productive solution, check out the  Seattle Police Department and Seattle Department of Transportation’s parking info websites.

Or, if you’re really into parking, The Seattle Police Department is always looking for parking enforcement officers. Among the many qualifications for the job, you must be able to remain calm and emotionally detached in tough situations, and be a tactful, courteous communicator who has not smoked Angel Dust within the last five years. Must like dogs.