Human Sad Trombone Arrested After String of Failed Muggings On Lake City Way

Officers arrested a 30-year-old man—armed with a pillow, crack cocaine, and a limited working knowledge of pantomime—Tuesday evening in Lake City after he went on a very unsuccessful robbery spree.

The suspect’s sad saga began around 6:20 pm at the Jack in the Box on 130th and Lake City Way, where he walked into the restaurant, approached two men as they were eating, put his hand in his jacket pocket like he was carrying a gun, and told them to hand over all their money.

Instead, both men got up from their table and asked a restaurant employee to call 911. The suspect, determined not to walk away empty handed, sat down at the victims’ table and began eating their food.

After picking over the victims’ lunch, the suspect grabbed a soda from the table and walked off down Lake City Way.

Down the road, the suspect approached a woman near a gas station at the corner of 130th and Lake City Way, brandished a handgun—which was simply his hand, formed into the vague shape of a gun—and said something to the woman.

The woman didn’t hear the suspect, however, because she was listening to music and had headphones on. She simply ignored the suspect and walked away.

Undeterred by his lack of criminal success, the suspect walked further down Lake City Way to a Wells Fargo bank, where he approached a man at an ATM and again did his best impression of an armed mugger.

This time, the victim yelled at the suspect and walked off, leaving the suspect to continue his walk down Lake City Way.

Finally, the suspect walked to the Lake City Bar and Grill, where he stood aimlessly in the doorway until an employee approached him and asked what he was doing.

One last time, the suspect stuck his hands in his pockets, making like he had a gun, and told the employee to give him money.

The employee told the man to leave.

Officers arrived moments later and, after confirming his identity with several victims, arrested the suspect.

When officers searched the suspect, they found a small pillow in his jacket, and some crack cocaine in his pocket.

Officers arrested the suspect and booked him into the King County Jail for robbery, drug possession and two warrants.