Officers Arrest Armed, Tuxedoed, Drunk Lothario for Opening Fire Downtown

An aging, drunk, lothario learned a tuxedo and a handgun definitively do not grant double-0 status after police arrested him for opening fire on a couple early Tuesday morning.

Around 2:15 AM, a witness spotted the decidedly not-debonair 64-year-old man hand money to a woman near 4th Avenue South and South Main Street before the pair disappeared into an alcove.

Moments later, a couple walking nearby spotted the tuxedoed man being secretly serviced in the alleyway.

The woman abruptly halted her sexual act and fled. The increasingly-angry suspect then stormed down the street, informed the couple he was going to kill them and then fired one shot, missing them.

Police quickly arrived at the scene and arrested the suspect, who appeared “highly intoxicated,” according to officers.

Officers booked the 64-year-old suspect into the King County Jail for assault. It will now be up to a judge to decide if the man is released on bond.