Getting Arrested In Front of Your Mom Is a Sign Something Has Gone Terribly Wrong

Early this morning, a young man learned he’s headed the wrong way and could be facing bumps ahead if he doesn’t make a u-turn with his life and stop stealing traffic signs.

At about 3:15 AM, a witness called 911 and reported that the 19-year-old man using a step stool and tools to unbolt traffic signs near NE 69th Street and Roosevelt Way NE.

Officers began searching the neighborhood for the suspect, and spotted the man wrestling with a stop sign, which he pulled down and dragged into the yard of a home on 12th Avenue and NE 69th Street.

Officers arrested the man and found a a tool kit in his backpack.

As officers were arresting the man in front of what turned out to be his own home, the man’s mother came outside.

The 19-year-old told police he’d been out drinking with friends and thought it would be “cool” to steal some street signs.

The man said he stole two one-way signs and a no parking sign, and then took them to his home before he went back out to collect a stop sign.

Officers gave the man a stern lecture about the inherent dangers of taking down traffic signs, and the potential for sending our ordered world spiraling down into complete chaos, and released him to his mother.

Officers will be forwarding the case to prosecutors for charges.

In case you were wondering, Seattle Department of Transportation spokesman Rick Sheridan says signpost theft is “not a frequent occurrence” in Seattle. But before any of you get any bright ideas, please note that if you do want to fill your home with old, worn, and oh-so-charming street signs, you can head down to the City Surplus Warehouse near 2nd Avenue and Spokane Street, and legally purchase some street-related memorabilia. Bring cash.